First of all, the word diet is a cuss word.
To me a cuss word is something you cringe at when you hear it. I can handle other vulgarities because personally, if the shoe fits say it.
If someone backs into your car, I don’t think the word "Golly" fits the occasion. If you spill your Carmel Frappucino down your linen blouse, "Oh shucks" seems like an episode from Leave it to Beaver.
So getting real, I vote the word diet is way worse than any recognized cuss word. I picture sweating on a treadmill as Jillian Michaels from biggest loser, humiliates you yelling, “faster you wimp, is that all you got?!
I can’t do diets
I can’t do it. I can’t do food coaches that tell me carrots and celery are my snack foods? I can’t do diet books that tell me I have to give up caffeine and alcohol to lose weight?
For starters I’m not. So better yet, why don’t we design a diet that incorporates our indulgences? The probability of staying on that diet is high.
So, in my brilliant deduction of why diets don’t work, I developed one that just about anyone can incorporate and actually stay on.
Don’t give up the foods you love
The second your favorite food is tabu, you crave it. You secretly fantasize about the day you can see it again, like a Romeo and Juliet rendezvous.
Forget about it, just incorporate it in your diet, and it loses it’s unsatiable appeal.
I love popcorn with real butter, lemon olive oil, and salt and pepper. Being single why not? Chase it down with a nice sauvignon blanc, a multiple vitamin and call it a day.
Keeping bad habits.
I wake up with coffee, and maybe add cream. If I feel like it I might follow up with a double shot of espresso. So I don’t need Jillian Michaels telling me to lose the fat, and substitute Oat milk. I want cream.
Secondly, I am not going to give up my sunset cocktail. I am definitely not going to change out freshly squeezed celery juice, for my vodka martini.
What I will agree to
So, what’s the trick to losing weight you ask?
Start the day off with hard core exercise. But, it must be something you love or it doesn’t work. Something you want to down your coffee for because you can’t wait to get out the door. (read Unstick your stuck life, Get Serious about Having Fun! In girlfriend’s guide section but I’m sure you already read it last week :)
When You find your passionate activity, do it first thing in the morning.
Imagine Jillian Michaels right there cheering you on. Feeling like an athlete first thing in the morning, changes your perspective about dieting.
You think, “Wait a minute, I feel too good to overeat. I feel pumped up with so much energy, I’m really not that hungry.” I’m a mountain bike rider. So after my morning exercise high, I actually do want a vegetable protein drink. Not because I’m on a diet because it just sound delicious.
The final trick
Okay, here’s the big ticket winner. Add dessert to your diet.
Get your favorite dessert and know that you are going to take one big delicious spoonful of it. Well, that’s not enough you say. Not true. Your mind accepts that it gets dessert, that it is not the forbidden Romeo and Juliet romance waiting for a rendezvous. You get to have it everyday. So here’s how to trick your mind. Get a small plate and dig in to your favorite dessert, anything a spoonful can hold. Next, do not eat it in one bite. You must take little bites lingering each delicious chew as if it was a mouthful.
I know this seems ridiculous. But it works. Let your body have anything it wants, but you limit it to your one delicious bite. One cookie. One spoonful of ice cream. One delicious dessert. Your mind will actually thank-you, because you did not restrict it.
After my sunset cocktail, when I’m as happy as a clam, (or chocolate chip cookie) I finish my day off with one delicious spoonful of Ben and Jerry’s Phish food.
It’s the ice cream diet, that’s not a cuss word.
Lisa Hamilton/ The Hamilton Post