Perhaps you were betrayed,
lied to, cheated on, pushed aside, emotionally or physically abused and now it feels like you’re trying to find yourself after walking away from a car crash. It’s hard to figure out what’s true and what isn’t and what’s their issue and what’s yours as you’ve been fully immeshed into their way of thinking, perhaps.
Where do you begin and they end, right?
I’ve been there too after my failed engagement and I promise you, there is a brighter day ahead with lots of hope.
I’m living my best life ever now,
but I did take the necessary time and steps to heal and I encourage you to do the same. Seeing a Christian therapist based in the therapy book “How We Love” and reading the book, “Codependency for Dummies” radically helped open my eyes and find a healthier lifestyle with boundaries and gave me a new, confident voice.
I want to leave you with some easy to live by dating pointers quick today for your next relationship, ok?
1. Ladies, trust a man only by his actions, not his words or good intentions.
Men, we can say all the right things but our actions define our character and if we’re truly trust worthy. We often believe our own good intentioned words or thoughts. I do all the time and I know you do too. It’s about our actions though!
2. Time tells all and will reveal the truth eventually.
Take it slow and steady until things come to the surface.
3. Don’t jump into bed with a guy before marriage if you want to keep him around.
Sound Extreme? Well, God asks us to wait until marriage to protect us and our relationships. This discipline sets the men apart from the boys and you’ll find what he’s truly after. You lower your value as well when you make it too easy for him to get into your pants and men only TRULY respect what we have to earn and work for. Read that again, please. It’s a gift.
They don't make condoms for the heart.
4. Relationships that start fast, end fast and relationships that take it slow and easy, have a better chance on going the distance.
Oh, and don’t be so quick to have to label something or have specific check point calendar dates. I’ve personally found that actually kills the natural flow of a relationship with rigid expectations that are bound to fail when forced. Sure, have goals but the best relationships have a natural, organic flow to them.
5. Date a man only of character and integrity. These qualities are what build trust, communication, security, and safety.
Dear friend, I know you’ve been hurt and struggle to trust people and I completely understand that. I know you’re probably very guarded. It makes complete sense. Please listen to my advice. I promise it’ll help. Please take responsibility to go heal even if your past failed relationships aren’t all your fault, ok? Please. Your future is bright if you do.
You’re loved more than you possibly realize.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” - Psalms 147:3
Sincerely, with All of Christ’s Love for YOU, as Your Big Bro and Protective Brother in Jesus,
Jeremy David Pestor
Jeremy David Pestor
Relationship expert/ coach
SiTiNG Mission: “Standing in the Increasingly Neglected Gap”
“To stand in the gap & build a bridge of hope & encouragement for lost & hurting people to find their purpose, identity, self-worth, healing, & freedom in their personal & relational lives.”
Get a one-on-one complimentary call with Jeremy
jdpestor@icloud.com