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  • Writer's pictureThe Hamilton Post

The Real Deal on Sex Appeal

Here's the deal. Being sexy for your man is intoxicating. Knowing that your man finds you attractive and desires you, makes you feel like his queen.

It's the on going dance of invitation and pursuit between a man and woman

Women, instinctually know how to flirt. It's just in our DNA. They can't hide the luscious feelings when an attractive man walks by, and of course, that attractive man can't help but notice those pheromones she's giving out, that say, "let the dance begin."

But here's the real deal.

Being sexy is not on the surface, as you would think. Sure, your leopard skirt, with black high heels helps, but that isn't what a man is really looking for. He's looking for a woman that gives him attention, makes him feel like her hero, makes him want to be a man.

Every man wants a woman that wants him.

That's it. That Simple. When a man knows that you desire him, it's a turn on. When he knows he still does it for you, it makes him want you all the more.

Men want women that make them feel like heroes not zeros.

Men's egos are very sensitive. Trust me, you're the prize that he believes he could never win. Yet, your interest in him, gives him the confidence to pursue, and now you're the exciting reward to his quest.

The Notice me Nightmare

Women in this category, are not sexy.

Attempting to absorb attention rather than give it, goes as flat as a flipped pancake. Men don't care that you look fantastic in your size 2 jeans, or that your lips are perfectly plump, or you're the queen of yoga class, if you act like an ice princess. What's the point? If they feel that you aren't interested in them, not attracted, and don't appreciate their gestures, then why would men want to pursue? Why ask you to dance, if your aura says, not interested. You, girlfriend will have an empty dance card.

Men want to be in the game not sitting in the bleachers, because you don't want to play.

The Pursue me Princess

Now she's exciting, and sexy.

Her smile, her walk, her eye contact, is like a cupid arrow to his heart. She's an open invitation to play the pursuit game. When her attention is on him as her man, everything she does is sexy, because she makes him feel like her king. And what do king's do? Protect the kingdom, provide happiness throughout the land, and take care of the needs of his people. And that is what he'll for you Now that says sexy all over it.

Responsiveness is what every man seeks


Laughter is what breaks the ice in a new relationship, and bonds in an established one. What is it about laughter that opens the heart so easily? Drooling, giggling, snorting laughter is sexy.

Probably, because it is when we are the most real.

Laughing together says, "I can be myself with you. I feel comfortable with you, I feel so connected to you. Of all the places I could be right now, I want to be with you."

Art of Appreciation

I love romance. I love love stories. I love steamy hot marriages that get sexier and sexier as years go by. So who else to ask tricks of the trade than a wife?

"I appreciate my husband. I notice the things he does for me, and I constantly tell him. This is not a tactic, I really do appreciate what he does. It seems the more I appreciate, the more he wants to do for me."

Appreciating him taking care of you is sexy

Art of Affirmation

Verbal affirmation is the key to vulnerability. A sense of insecurity is at the root of almost every relationships, even good ones. How much do they really love me? Do my weird quirks bother them? Should I change? Verbally affirming your man erases all those doubts, and allows the relationship to go deeper. Knowing that of all the people in the world you chose him, creates security. When he feels accepted and affirmed by you, he is attracted to you.

Making him feel accepted is sexy.

Art of Attention

Attention is a lost art. Just because you are in a relationship, or even a marriage, when did you stopping noticing your man? Taking the relationship for granted? Stop being flirtatious?

“Sometimes, I write him hand written notes that tell him I can’t wait till he gets home. Or I text him during the day and tell him why I love him. I let him know, I’m thinking about him. Believe me, he comes homes a different man than when he left." -comments from a happy wife

Letting him know he's always on your mind is sexy

Keep it exciting

“I’ve have never forgotten that men, no matter how much they love you, appreciate beauty. That was part of their first attraction to you. Men are visual. Even though I am a wife, I love dressing for him. Sometimes elegantly when we’re on a date, sometimes stay at home lingerie while we’re cooking, and sometimes just his shirt .

My marriage gets better and better every year. He knows I adore him, I love him, and appreciate him.

I think what really matters is that every man wants a woman that wants him. In a nutshell that's sexy."

Lisa Hamilton/ The Hamilton Post

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